Haboob

In Phoenix the other day, we experienced a massive haboob that was a mile high and at least 100 miles wide. (A Haboob is a intense sand storm.)It was like being in a fog consisting of dust instead of moisture. The ability to see is limited because of the dust particles. Being in a haboob can be compared to being close to a situation where the ability to see the truth may be obscured by the drama or emotion. It's only when one detaches from it can we really see what is really going on.

Often a client tell me about their situation where I have to ask if it's truly acceptable to them. I hear about how a partner or family member mistreats them and they allow it. Often, they are not being true to their real feelings, but out of fear, allow themselves to be in situations that they would tell others to get out of, had the roles been reversed. The fear can be that they are afraid that they won't be loved or accepted if they speak up. But just like being in a haboob, there is always a residual effect, either destruction of some sort, a bad taste of sand in the mouth or at least that sandy grit that covers everything once the storm settles. It has to be dealt with at some point~ either the mess is cleaned up or the grit will build up between the storms to the point we have to walk away from the destruction. Ultimately, the goal is not to have to experience the storm in the first place.

Recently, a client was planning a trip with their partner. The partner made it quite clear that "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" or that should they get drunk and wild, and hook up with another person, it should be acceptable because that's what one does in Vegas.

My client didn't want to say anything out of fear of being needy. And by not speaking up, they gave away their power and lost a part of themselves. Some people get angry, others depressed over time.

So who or what situations in your life create your personal haboob? Where do you need to create boundaries and to speak up to prevent future destruction?

Find clarity in the situation and ask yourself what you really need or want and then act upon it. Stand up for what you need, and if you can't get it, you need to rethink your situation to see if it is worth maintaining. Don't let a haboob obscure your vision and needs.